Gender Expectations

 

All of today’s gender roles and norms are engraved in our minds since childhood. Our parents portray the ideal gender norms that were portrayed to them as children and that gradually became a part of our lives. Family and cultural traditions play an important part in how gender roles are depicted. I remember when I was young(around elementary/middle school), whenever I used to go on vacation to visit my family I always used to spend most of my time with my cousins-whom were all boys. At an early age I learned what my gender role was and was taught what gender expectations were. Being the only girl, I would feel bored alone and decide to go play with my cousins. Being the boys that they are, my cousins played with each other aggressively as well as with me. Then whenever I used to get hurt and cry my mom would tell me, “You are not supposed to play with them because they are boys and they are more tough and aggressive than you are.” I used to wonder how they could tolerate each other’s violent hits and eventually I learned that it’s because their bodies are just built to be stronger than a girl’s body; I’m just more sensitive to anything because I’m a girl. And plus it was normal and ok for them to play aggressively because they were boys but me being a girl I wasn’t allowed to do that. My mom would put me in flowery dresses and make me look all fashionable with a bow on my head and all that pretty stuff. I felt that they had everything going easy for them because they were boys and they didn’t need to look pretty or anything like that. Whenever I used to want to play games with my brother and cousins he would tell me, “Action games aren’t for girls. Go play with your dolls or help mom or something.”  And when I go tell my mom she would just tell me, “You should come help me in the kitchen and around the house. These are skills you will need to learn for your future when you get married and have a family.” My brother would carry all the heavy workload around the house while I would help my mom cook or clean.  Also because they are the male gender they were allowed to go out alone because they are stronger and could take care of themselves but there was more fear over me(of getting kidnapped or lost) when I went out.  Gradually, as I got older I began to view these gender roles around me in society, school, and my peers. Even though females now dress more casual and wear more pants and shirts rather than fashionable dresses, there is still a distinction between them and males because style is still part of their norm. This was evident to me in high school where girls would make themselves all pretty even if they were dressed casually while boys wouldn’t really show much importance to looks. The girls would always go to the bathroom and put on makeup and fix their hair. The guys would talk about sports, go to the gym, work out and show off their “manliness” with their “built” bodies and what not. My female friends would constantly talk about shopping and what clothing styles they like. Soon I became aware that since the past males and females have been entitled with certain gender expectations that are passed down from generation to generation. That’s just the way life has been going: males are expected to be athletic, stoic, the dominant presence, and the breadwinners. Females are supposed to be well kept, the home makers and nurturer of children. Many factors contribute to the ongoing gender expectations such as society, culture, tradition, school, peers, church, history, and most importantly family. Now I have taken on the female role of taking care of my younger brother and working around the house. I now know that since I’m a girl I am supposed to be delicate/polite (instead of playing aggressively with boys) and mother like. Through my experiences and memories I learned to acquire these gender roles and norms as a part of my life. I learned it from my family and they learned it from theirs.